Fantastic Fables by Ambrose Bierce

I present some short stories that belong to the book "Fantastic Fables" published in 1899. Here the writer explores this genre in a prodigious way.

Two Politicians 

Two politicians were exchanging ideas regarding the rewards for 

public service. 

"The reward which I most desire," said the first politician, "is 

the gratitude of my fellow-citizens." 

"That would be very gratifying, no doubt," said the second 

politician, "but, alas! in order to obtain it one has to retire 

from politics." 

For an instant they gazed upon each other with inexpressible

tenderness; then the first politician murmured, "God's will be 

done! Since we cannot hope for reward, let us be content with what we have."

And lifting their right hands from the public treasury they swore

to be content.

The Thistles upon the grave

A mind reader made a wager that he would be buried alive and remain

so for six months, then be dug up alive. In order to secure the

grave against secret disturbance, it was sown with thistles. At

the end of three months, the mind reader lost his money. He had

come up to eat the thistles.

The Honest Cadi  

A Robber who had plundered a merchant of one thousand pieces of 

gold was taken before the Cadi, who asked him if he had anything to 

say why he should not be decapited.

"Your honour," said the Robber, "I could do not otherwise than take 

the money for Allah made me that way".

"Your defence is ingenious and sound", said the Cadi, "and I must 

acquict you of criminality. Unfortunately, Allah has made me so

that I must also take off your head -unless," he added, 

thoughtfully, "you offer me half of the gold; for he made me weak 

under temptation."

Thereupon the Robber put five hundred pieces of gold into the 

Cadi´s hand. 

"Good," said the Cadi. "I shall now remove but one half your head.

To show my trust in your discretion I shall leave intact the half

you talk with."

The Policeman and the Citizen

 A Policeman, finding a man that had fallen in a fit, said, "This

 man is drunk," and began beating him on the head with his club. A

 passing citizen said: 

"Why do you murder a man that is already harmless?" 

Thereupon the Policeman left the man in a fit and attacked the 

citizen, who, after receiving several severe contusions, ran away. 

"Alas," said the Policeman, "why did I not attack the sober one 

before exhausting myself upon the other?" 

Thenceforward he pursued that plan, and by zeal and diligence rose

to be Chief, and sobriety is unknown in the region subject to his sway. 

A Talisman 

Having been summoned to serve as a juror, a prominent citizen sent

a physician´s certificate stating that he was afflicted with

softening of the brain.

"The gentleman is excused," said the judge, handing back the

certificate to the person who had brought it, "he has a brain."

The Thrift of Strength

 A weak man going down-hill met a strong man going up, and said: 

"I take this direction because it requires less exertion, not from 

choice. I pray you, sir, assist me to regain the summit."

"Gladly," said the strong man, his face illuminated with the glory

of his thought. "I have always considered my strength a sacred

gift in trust for my fellow-men. I will take you along with me. 

Just get behind me and push."